Nancy Gosse ~ Journey of Truth

Under continuous evolution as I learn more ...




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Thursday, March 7, 2013

The kick in the chair

In my profile, I had described myself as "gutsy" and have thought of myself as being a voice for spirit. Problem is, unless I am willing to stand up and actually speak, then it's of little use and my purpose fizzles out. For many months now I have been feeling that "kick on the back of my chair". This is a phrase that Barbara Marx Hubbard used frequently in the Agents of Conscious Evolution training that I participated in last year. I suppose you could say that I have been hearing the call of conscious evolution very clearly since I was a child, but I have repeatedly allowed my insecurities to drown it out. I find myself again in a place that feels very much like a pit. Don't get me wrong, I have a beautiful life, with a partner that I adore and whom I feel is "the face I have been searching for" as Rumi might describe it. She and I have been weaving a tapestry of integrity, courage, faith, and trust together, each of us inspiring the other towards deeper truth; mind you, that sometimes does get a little dicey! Let me get back to the point of what I mean by this pit I find myself in. I have been carrying a vision of something far greater than I could ever have imagined possible. Somewhere along the way I lost steam, lost trust, and frankly, allowed myself to move into the hum drum of simply getting by. How did that happen? How could that happen for something that is driven by Spirit?! That's just it. Somewhere along the way, I took over trying to drive again and anyone knows that on a long journey, if you don't continually re-fuel you eventually break down on the side of the road and have to flag down some help. Today I received a mirrored reflection of that flag. Today I had to drive to Lakeview to bring our rescued stray cat, Morgan, to the vet to neutered. I decided that I would make a day of for myself to shop, hang out, and enjoy my day off. A drive into Peterbourough proved to be very inspiring. I browsed in Valu village to find several treasures that I've been wanting for some time: a foot spa, a set of beautiful blue placemats for our kitchen to replace the stained and broken bamboo ones we have, and an additional treasure- Ted Andrews book entitled "The Occult Christ". The latter called to me because in spite of my views about the structures and limitations of religious dogma, I am learning to appreciate the gifts that Christianity does bring. It ought to be an enlightened read! Why do I tell you of these treasures? They are all smaller examples of the help that comes along when we reach that point of readiness to receive. I have reaffirmed my readiness and willingness to learn and grow and realized that I cannot drive the ship anymore. I turn it over to be guided instead. As I sat in Peterborough mall, having found a wonderfully comfortable leather sofa chair to sit and enjoy my coffee, I opened the covers of my friend Jean Victoria Norloch's novel "Truth". She gave it to me a long time ago and I suppose I wasn't ready for it. Today I am. Thank you Jean for your loving example, for allowing me the joys of remembering my purpose and my vision as I journey through the pages that speaks of your remembering and trusting. Before picking up my cat from the vet, I dropped in to the Celtic Connection store in Lakefield that I have been wanting to visit for a long time. Primarily, my compulsion to go there was to meet the hand-drums that are available there. Immediately upon entering the store I was greeted by a beautiful Goddess Shaman who guided me through the offerings and soent time singing to me and sharing some wisdom. She spoke to me of my soul and the importance of me getting back to writing because she could 'see' that this was a gift that I needed to express. The drums called to me and now it's just a matter of me returning with money in hand to retrieve it. After leaving the store to go pick up Morgan, lo and behold, I find a pair of cross country ski boots at the Animal Rescue Centre Thrift Store where I am to pick Morgan up. I have been searching for several months for boots to go with the skis I had at home. Every place I looked either diodn't have them, or they weren't the right size. Here they were sitting right out front, on top of a stack of other itmes in clear view. Yes, indeed, today was my day for little gifts of acknowledgement of my place with Spirit. On my drive home, I was blessed again with the appearance of a spotted brown owl flying ever so gracefully out into my path as I drove by. It turned to fly directly towards me on the highway and then floated past to the right side of my car and out of view into the woods. The owl brings a remnder of the mystery of magic, silent wisdom, and the ability to see things that others may have hidden from view. Just as the Goddess Shaman at the store had told me, I have a deep intuitive ability to see into things and read situations(and people); a gift which often results in people turning from me because they find it too intense or unnerving. It is, in part, for this very reason that I have allowed my gift to lay dormant and for my soul to go on hiatius while my physical body tries to keep up. So again, why do I share all this? Noparticular reason, other rthan I wanted to write and begin once again to open up the channels...As I said years ago when I was first made aware of the realm of universal possibility, "Bring It ON"!!!!

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